Monday, October 31, 2011

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Deep in December

One by one or sometimes two by two, the women in their 80s and 90s rolled into the house. Freshly coiffed, they wore their important occasion clothes and brought along memories of a lifetime.

Settled into straight-backed chairs with coffee cups perched nearby, the women ate Italian cream cake and laughed. They talked about children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The years melted away with the lime sherbet in the punch.

New neighbors and former neighbors dropped in with shy, polite teenagers in tow. Photos recorded each visitor; cards filled the coffee table.

What a wonderful tribute. Happy 90th birthday, Mom!

Later, Dude.

Friday, October 28, 2011


Anxiety steals. Anxiety throttles joy. Anxiety, like Audrey in "Little Shop of Horrors," desires to be fed. Once it gets a taste, the need increases.  Pretty soon you have a monster on your hands.

Later, Dude.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The above photo was taken by Steve Douglass, who is an outstanding photographer and is

The snow laden tree branches ripple like an Asian festival dragon. The weight of the wet snow atop leaves bends the branches to the breaking point.

Today would be a good day for your Kinsler to come through. I can sink a team's chances just by mentioning I back them. So mum's the word.

Glad you wuz born, Dude.


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Waning days

I love baseball. The game.

I was thinking about the differences between love of the game and love of the game because of a certain team. The winning or losing of a particular team becomes the reason for the love of some. So if his team sports the worse record in baseball, his season ends before October.

If the team I follow for some wild reason makes it into the series, then all the better. If, however, my team fails to make the playoffs, then I can find a reason to support another team, such as manager X played for the Xs or manager Y was on a triple A team in Amarillo. I pick a side to root for to extend a season of a game I love.

I am not saying either approach reigns supreme or represents the only view, just making an observation.

Mother Nature plans a wakeup call this week I am told. Mid-80s today and rain and snow on Thursday.

Hard week, Dude.


Too many mountains

pa·tron·ized / pa·tron·iz·ing

transitive verb
1: to act as patron of : provide aid or support for
2: to adopt an air of condescension toward : treat haughtily or coolly

No. 2 pertains to the situation this time. I am slow to thaw and overly cautious in some areas of my life. In other ways, I am unwary and out there, ready for the pickin'. But I digress. I guess I tend to analyze the analyst. And I have no patience.

Sometimes I think I am fooling myself about my illness. After all, I am not as sick as most of the folks who post on FB and have PH and related diseases. I am somehow second rate even with a life-threatening disease. Is my pain tolerance so great, I do not notice? Or does pain hide around the corner waiting to show me his real face?

What a mess, Dude.


Monday, October 24, 2011


Two cakes ordered.

Vampire sated.

Plates, napkins and cups purchased.

Satisfaction and pride for getting the above accomplished when I did not want to do anything. And I still have time for a nap.

Later, Dude.

Bedtime story

I learned my lesson. I cannot trash talk with impunity. I have never been good at it. More often than not, my team tanks immediately after I put taunt to paper. This time proves no different. Give it up.

After several days of nothing, today I need to visit the vampire, order a couple of cakes and buy festive napkins, plates, and cups. I am already telling myself, "Not today. Tomorrow." Typical.

Later, Dude.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

A slice of life

One of my acquaintances has gone missing. I have looked and looked for her for years. She plays a major role in my life, yet she hardly shows her face in a positive manner.

Her frailty causes her to crumble at the slightest provocation. She seldom appears when I need her most, in fact she hides so well she might as well be nonexistent.

I spend early mornings meditating in my chair; a cup of coffee warms my hands. I ruminate about how events unfolded and spend time what-iffing. I craft scenes in my mind of meetings that probably will never happen.

One of my constant companions will not loosen her grip on me. She can freeze me in my steps with a sideways glance. She nags and inserts her opinion on any issue at any time. I have tried many ways to lessen her influence. Each of her small victories extracts an immeasurable part of me until I begin to wonder where I went. Will I eventually be gone altogether?

Another friend hangs around much too often and refuses to leave. Like a gray, cold, gloomy mass suffocating me; always there, always threatening.

The view from the other side of a mirror differs.

Later, Dude.

Friday, October 21, 2011


My to-do list reaches crisis proportions. Not so much the number of items on the list, but a time element will force me to act, and soon.

I spent the past two days lying on the couch, covered by a couple of blankets. My do-it gears frozen, my mind refusing to work. My motivation ran dry. I need something to prime the pump.

Eliminating the Lipitor from my regime has curbed the pain in my arms. I guess now we play deal a med to see which of the cholesterol pills will work without the muscle/joint pain. I am so lucky to have a lung doc who also has a specialty in internal medicine and critical care. He not only gets an A in smarts, but an A for bedside manner and good looks.

I miss World Series day games. Working and watching the game with one eye or listening to the game on the radio. *sigh*

Thinking of you, Dude.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011



The great bathroom pipe leak ended yesterday when Deon told me the sink drained slowly and showed me a clump of hair attached to the sink hole cover. He fixed the upside down mirror and laid a whole new floor. Apparently the previous floor tile pattern was no longer available. All the work I did in the bathroom to clean the floor, baseboards and vanity needs to be done again.

I am taking a break from FB for awhile. I almost took a break from blogging, too. My head remains somewhere above my body most of the time. My heart aches.

Later, Dude.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Leak no more my lady

Let me see now. Today marks the fourth day in the saga of the leak. The guys finished getting the vanity back in, then said see ya after lunch. Well, they did not say which lunch did they? So they did not come today. The mirror still leans up again the wall on the patio and the sink. has no running water.

Just out the front door another big mess lurks. The guys emptied the shop vac in empty parking spots and the scummy residue greeted a couple of tenants when they arrived home. Then sometime overnight, someone barfed on the sidewalk in front of my door.

I did not have the energy to do anything about either problem today. Sometime during the night I totally depleted my spoon inventory. My arms and legs ache both in the muscles and the joints. My brain runs on power save.

I am thankful for many things in my life. You were one of them, Dude.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I love the top photo. It reminds me of cats I have known. Too bad the left front paw is photoshopped. Still, the photo gets the idea across wonderfully well.

I stole the graphic from a friend's FB post.

My mom has one of these folding, wooden racks. It was her first clothes dryer. I too have one of these nifty racks -- think sunshine smell.

Later, Dude.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Nothing worse than ...

plumbing trouble, car trouble or insurance hassles. This time plumbing wins. A hot water pipe buried in the concrete slab underneath the bathroom vanity sprung a leak. The guys (three of them) spent most of the first day removing the vanity, mirror and toilet and then jackhammering until they found the leak. They temporarily patched the leak and left for the night.

Day 2: At 8:45 a.m. one of the guys rings the doorbell and tells me he needs an inventory of supplies so they could order for the day. I ask them not to come until 9:30. I grabbed some clothes, brushed my hair, did a treatment, took pills and left with a note on the door for them to be vigilant about the kitties. I spent most of the day with Connie and her youngest grandson. When I got home, the three guys had packed up for the day. Still no toilet, although the vanity sits in its usual place. Somehow the guys managed to cut the top of the vanity and it does not fit back like it did. And, since the toilet still sits on the patio (do not tell Jeannie about this, she would be planting violets or something!), I will get to share company with the three guys tomorrow, too.

As for my boys, I found both of them in the lower kitchen cabinet. Yesterday, Pogo, the nosey one, would sneak a look at the bathroom and the second one of the guys moved, Pogo would run low to the ground back to his hidey hole.

Miss you, Dude.


Thursday, October 6, 2011


Today I wonder where all this sadness comes from. The waves and waves of heaviness threaten to pull me under. I try to put into words what I am feeling but I find I cannot.

Later, Dude.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

That time again

Aching arms woke me this morning. I gained a couple of pounds (blame those evil chocolate chip cookies). Pogo pooped in front of the glass door and missed the cat box when he peed.

The cloak of sadness closes around me and tears threaten to further cloud my view. I grasp at the bits and pieces of what was and mourn memories that never were.

Later, Dude.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Where are you?

I am beginning to sound like some looney bird with a tinfoil hat. I am lonely; I want attention but I hate to ask. So I post cryptic messages on FB and hope someone asks me what bothers me. Sounds like some teenager.

Gosh I miss you Dude.


Monday, October 3, 2011

Little things

I woke up after a funky dream I do not remember now, but gradually the overall mood morphed into a warm blanket on a cold morning.

I discovered someone's hidden side. Having never met this person face to face, I formed an opinion based on what I saw. Gradually the outer shell chipped away and I think I saw some of the inner self. I liked what I saw.

I find this photo funny. Such a cute kitten.

Missing you, Dude.