Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Mind failure

In my head, I make fun of my friend who cannot seem to remember from one minute to the next. *"Instant Karma" plays in the background.* I realize yesterday I had the date of my doctor's appointment right, but the day of the week wrong. I remind her each time we talk when my appointment hits. I tell her wrong the whole time. I join the mind failure club.

The big dig out begins for my EPL fantasy team. Go Lamps, I need your legs.

The do not want to's plague me now. Include in that list of do not want to's: eat, clean, watch TV, sleep or any of the other fun things I use to fill my days. Henri le Chat Noir cannot hold a candle in the ennui department.

Today the names of 28 farmworkers who died in a 1948 plane crash over Los Gatos Canyon were revealed. A journalist spent many, many hours finding the names of the victims. In a ceremony, a priest celebrated Mass. Better late than never.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Tire, tired, tired

I am tired.

I am tired of people who go off half-cocked about something that has no credibility other than it was seen on Facebook.

I am tired of mindless television for hours on end because I am a prisoner in my apartment.

I am tired of no energy or inclination to do anything.

I am tired of having to rely on someone else to go and do.

I am tired of wondering if I am losing my mind.

I am tired of feeling unworthy.

I am tired.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

That season

A TV turned up too loud, the wind whooshing against the windows and somewhere in my sleeping mind, the sound of a siren. Pogo huddles against my body between my face and waist. I lie there for a minute or two trying to get my mind to function. I had been asleep for nearly 3.5 hours.

I looked at the radar on the net and turned on the TV. Weather guys say to take shelter NOW. I grabbed a comforter, my Diet DP, a chair and the remote for the TV. Who knows why I picked up the remote. I called the kitties and went into the tiny closet in the bathroom.

Momo, the curious one, came into the closet to see why I hid there. I closed the door, and for the next hour I sit there, uncomfortably warm, with a no longer curious cat. To be fair, the space could not hold the two of us along with the chair and comforter.

I venture out of the hidey-hole thinking I had not heard the siren in awhile. The TV weather guy says the danger moved on. Back to bed Pogo and I go. He hid in a bathroom cabinet, his go-to spot in times of danger or stress.

Oh yes, earlier in the evening the power dies. I discover I can do without o2 for more than an hour without passing out. I never check the sats, however. I did not recharge my portable after the last outing, thus no o2.

I miss my independence. I find relying on others causes anxiety. When someone asks if I need something, I most often say no. I miss runs to Wendy's for the newest burger. I find myself not aging gracefully.

Funny how when one finally gains wisdom, no one wants to hear. What does one do with an overabundance of wisdom?

As Johnny Cash sang, I still miss someone.


Saturday, May 25, 2013

Short buts

A former colleague was a legendary sports writer. In his later years, he wrote two columns a day: Short Putts and a longer column. To honor Putt, below you will find my attempt at his style.

The pole on which my satellite sits serves as a message board for the neighborhood cats. ... After watching a couple of shows on H2, I think the conspiracy channel aptly fits. ,,, Of the 160 friends on FB whom I consider journalists, 21 now teach; 113 of the 160 are no longer in journalism. ... How does a 60-year-old, who loses his job, find work? ... Amarillo High School ranks as No. 1 in the city. Always has, always will. ... Salt scalds your tongue as effectively as a boiling cup of coffee. ... Saw where a former colleague plans to wed and move to Ohio. Buckeye teams fare well historically. ... The bed calls me. -- CL

Monday, May 13, 2013


Flashy advertising on an obituary page, electronic or otherwise, disrespects the deceased and their families.

Vegetarians eat fake meat because ... ?

Opportunists always find a way to make money: advertisement touts company which gives you settlement money early.

Notice how many lawyers seek calls from people hurt by medical devices, but most do not do the actual work?

Did not Barbara Wa-Wa announce her retirement several months ago?

MYD. Laters.

Friday, April 12, 2013

When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad

No matter how much one wishes otherwise, time moves on. Memories fade and reality reveals itself like a rotten banana hidden by a bright golden peel. Viewed from hindsight, events simultaneously seem to focus more sharply and blur. The truth, like a seed bursting with new life, seeks the daylight.

Thursday, January 17, 2013


Reader beware: I am stepping on my soapbox again.

I am up to my ears with the Lance Armstrong story, and the man, too. Just like a mom who threatens her child with punishment but fails to carry through, the cycling gurus shout, "Ban for life," then say well maybe for eight years with a confession. Hey guys, you banned him. Maybe by carrying through a punishment, others will think twice about riding down that path.

The Te'o story illustrates how in today's world, someone will believe anything no matter how ludicrous. The  fraud perpetuated on the athlete from Notre Dame does not surprise me. I saw a similar scam befall a friend. Yes, people do spend enormous amounts of time constructing and implementing these hoaxes. Why? Many reasons but those reasons do not change the outcome: the innocent and good become victims of their natures.

While I am up here, I would also like to fire a salvo at robocalls. I wish while our lawmakers toil over weighty issues, they would consider the death penalty for those companies unleashing barrages of calls relentlessly. This proves the zombie apocalypse does exist. Nothing kills these pests.

Miss you Dude.


Tuesday, January 15, 2013


You wonder why the world appears such a mess? The following illustrates at least one reason. As the TV show once began, "only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."

K excels in school. He began his education at one of the city's best schools. He will graduate and go on to college. He works at those retail jobs available to teens.

K's mother married a man who fathered 10 children by several women. K and one sibling resulted from this marriage. K's father broke the law and now resides in prison.

K's mother divorced and moved. A relative's murder caused another move. K's mother married a man with a couple of children, one of whom lives with them.

One of K's siblings got pregnant and though she will not marry the man, she becomes another baby mama for a man who has four baby mamas already.

A member of K's family victimizes a tiny relative. Sometimes K's mother gets falling down drunk.

I know many of us want to shut our eyes and hope situations like this go away or pretend they never happen in the first place. Not my family therefore not my problem. Everyone owns this problem.

Love you Dude.