312 meters

Did the Doc thing this morning. He sprung the 6 MW on me. I walked 312 meters, which falls short of the last one. He said not to be too concerned. My sats fell to 76 on 2 lpm, so I stopped in the middle of the walk and tried to figure out how to boost the liters. Finished the walk with sats in the high 80s and doing 3 lpm. Doc told me o2 is the most important drug I can do to manage my PH.

We discussed Social Security and the hassles. SS did approve one of my three PH meds without too much hassle. I requested a refill on the Revatio in the last couple of days. Doc says that one should pass too because of its cost. Tyvaso continues to be hung up. Doc faxed a new letter to the panel yesterday. I bet I will hear something after the holiday.

Doc also told me about a new COPD drug the FDA just approved. He said I would not be a candidate for it. When I got home, I Googled and discovered the drug targets those with chronic bronchitis. I have emphysema.

I am afraid the U.S. women's world cup team faces several steam rollers. Our girls seem kinda whimpy or maybe too polite. Germany on the other hand fields big, tough women. The women's game has a ways to go to be as precise and beautiful, as say Barcelona. The matches do draw this Texan's attention, though. Helps to pass the time in the late mornings when the temperatures rise.

Time for some more pizza. I celebrated at lunch with Bella Pizza. I will have some more tonight. Yummm.
Later, Dude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCTYxIsLThA

Willing suspension of disbelief

Stream of consciousness:

I feel myself heading for the hermit mode again. I wonder if this can be attributed to laziness. I once again find myself overwhelmed. Life comes at me and I want to duck. Then I crawl into a hole and hope to avoid everything. Only I cannot. My mind refuses to shut up. Then guilt revs its unrelenting engine. I wonder if I really have a disease. Am I blowing everything out of proportion? You know, think negative and negative comes to visit. Am I in denial? When the pressure weighs heavy, I crumble into dust in moments. Today I need to visit the PO, which means getting dressed, which means actually doing the projects, the reason for the PO trip in the first place. The low so far this morning -- 72. Does make getting out hard when the temperatures are in the 100s. Will Al Gore prove to be a voice in the wilderness? I just do not want to. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future. Regina makes me smile. I do nothing. Later, Dude.

Twilight zone

Still no resolution to the insurance hassle. I get calls and letters telling me I need to resubmit paperwork, etc.

Later, Dude.

Short and bittersweet

Dealing with pain commands lots of attention from PHers. If not the elephant on the chest, then aches from the meds that keep us alive. That description falls short of reality. List symptoms that push you over the threshold into torture, then you will understand.

A ray of sun dances across the makeshift birdbath like a flame flickers in the breeze. For a brief moment I felt your presence. I think of you often, Dude. The pain you endured. How you must have fought against allowing your body to rule your life.

Missing you, Dude.

Later.

Something to remember

Big discovery here: duh!! If I get my mind off my own problems and try to brighten someone's day, I feel better too.

Promises, promises

I am disappointed.

I try to live my life honestly. I try to follow the rules. I try to do what I say I will. I try to treat people fairly and the way I would like to be treated. I try to remember what goes round comes round.

After the mess that Medicare has afforded me so far, I say the great United States has let me down.

I now can understand why doctors refuse to accept Medicare. The docs and their staffs spend tremendous amounts of time with paperwork.

My doc spends much time with his patients; he is an exceptional doc. Yet he is now in a position to have to explain his diagnosis. Yes, I do need the PH meds. Just because I have COPD does not mean that the COPD caused the PH; it means I have both.

The stress this causes only makes my condition worse. And to add the cherry to the sundae, Medicare does not pay for Xanax. Talk about fertile ground for a panic attack. I will have to face that little dilemma pretty soon, too.

All this amounts to a government panel deciding which meds I need based on something in a book. They do not know my history. No one fits into the mold.

 PH is a rare disease. The experts know a fews facts about PH, but even those change as scientists and doctors uncover more. So I wonder if they employ the most up to date book for their assessments?

*sigh*

I know you understand only too well, Dude.

Later.

It may rain daffodils

"Dear Maintenance Gurus,
"Could I please have water in my backyard today?
"Thanks,
"Cindy, No. ????"

I left that note on the apartment office door early, early this morning. I started watering my yard about 9:30. Maybe my imagination flourishes but the grass does seem greener. The birds seem happier as well.

Must be nap time. Surely it is nap time. It is!!! It is!!!

Later, Dude.