Today I realized I am the oddity in this whole mix. I came on the scene real late and do not have CF or a transplant. I think the time to bow out gracefully nears. That saddens me.
I played a role in your final days. I may have seen you out of this world, but my friendship in the total measure of your life was infinitesimal.
I could have begged you to keep trying. I could have reacted in other ways, but I told you it was OK to leave. You not so politely told me that was not my decision to make. Even telling you that you could leave irked you. You told me it was a nice sentiment, but one that was misplaced.
Your friends, who knew you well, say you would have come back around on your thinking about SG if you had had more time. Maybe so. But you did not have more time, and I know you knew that. You were mad at her right up until the end. Of course, I do not know what you told your mother in your final hours. Maybe you did come around.
See, you left a trail of doubts and questions behind you. I guess that is good. Each of us has to settle in our own minds what we meant to you. But the penguin also left clues, huh? Some of them are easier to read than others, though.
I wish I had asked more questions instead of just listening. I miss you so much, dude.
Later.
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