An old friend paid a visit the past couple of days. I woke up and there he was standing over me like a vulture over roadkill. The visit surprised me. He had not shown his face for a long time.
As usual, he started in on me. "No one cares," he whispered in my ear. "You disappear. So what?"
After that topic wore thin, he started in on my pulmonary hypertension. "You are not as sick as ____," he accused. "Why do you do nothing all day?"
Then comes the harsh voice as he hurls accusations at me like knives in a sideshow act. "You are ugly. No one likes you. You do not do enough for others."
After a few hours of my friend, I long for relief. Often I run to the bed. Cocooned in the covers, hoping I will no longer hear my friend, I seek the release of sleep.
Sometimes his screeching tone pushes me beyond what I imagined I could bear. The incessant cacophany of recriminations begins to wear me down.
I think I have the necessary gumption to send my visitor packing for now, but he hangs out on the corner just out of sight, hoping he can throttle me.
I miss you bunches, Dude. EPL begins Saturday.
Later.
Wish I could banish that nasty visitor from your life forever. You're not ugly, you are beautiful and sweet and kind and loving! I repeat: you are beautiful,sweet. kind and loving.
ReplyDeleteThere are many that love you, so much. So tell that nasty visitor so!
Lots and Lots of Love
Sylvia
Your visitor is not your friend. Your friends are the ones who miss you when you are not around, the ones who wish you were poking us instead of under the covers. Your friends are the ones who get worried when we don't hear from you. I sure hope that visitor takes a hike and stays away for good!! Love you!! (((HUGS)))
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