I see situations from the inside out. How I feel about myself plays a major role in my actions and reactions. I have a hard time living. So much so that I spent hours sleeping rather than facing my day-to-day existence. I virtually isolated myself.
I visited chat recently for the first time in a long time. I reached out to those whom I thought would understand my situation better than anyone. The one who reached out was timid and lonely.
After the initial hellos, the conversation continued. I contributed, but what I said was incorrect and I was corrected. A lull in the conversation ensued. I took the silence personally. From inside out, the lack of conversation told me I was intruding and not wanted. I said as much and left.
One of the chatters immediately castigated me in a FB PM. The chatter told me I had been rude and many, many things were not about me.
I agree, I was rude. I guess I had expected something different from the group that had been such a part of my life at one time. I expected them to be mind readers: since I was there for the first time in a long time, I needed attention.
I do not like me. Why should anyone else?
Later, Dude.
I haven't been in chat since Wednesday, so I guess I missed when you came in. I'm really sorry you felt alienated. :( I do care about you very much, and it saddens me to know that you were treated poorly! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI often felt excluded because I "only" have secondary PH due to the left side heart failure and haven't been to chat in probably a year. I'm sorry you felt ousted. I know many in chat are great people, and the internet as a whole can make for many relationship problems because people can't HEAR the tone with which you say things. They can't SEE beyond the words you say to what your eyes are saying. (((HUGS))) to you today. You are important and loved and cared about. You can always message me or chat me on FB if you want to talk. I've dealt with depressed people for years....and know that sometimes people just want someone to sit with them in their silence; to know someone cares. Consider me sitting with you today!! ~ Janet
ReplyDeleteI havent been in chat much since July 5th. And Im sorry that happened to you :( I also care about you very much and I do hope that you dont let this keep you away from chat you are a part of us and I miss you when you dont come by. It makes me mad and sad that you were treated that way and I do hope it never happens again .. hugs to you .. lots of love :)
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