I don't want to adult today, either

Me: Pogo is looking and feeling poorly these days. After all, he is 16.
The other me: I know. I should probably take him to the vet and have him put to sleep.
Me: But what if he is not that bad. How will I know?
The other me: Don't you think the fact he is eating less and spends most of his time hidden under a blanket is an indication?
Me: I want to do the right thing for him. I do not want him to suffer. But how can I tell if he is suffering?
The other me: Don't you think that constant meowing he went through recently was an indication?
Me: Yes, that occurred to me. But he isn't doing that anymore. He still drinks water and I can find something he will eat, though it might take me three or four tries.
The other me: Why don't you call the vet and make appointment and ask her.
Me: But what if she says he is ready to leave? Can I make myself watch him die? Can I leave him there alone to die by himself?
The other me: What are you afraid of? That you would have to feel?
Me: As long as I know he isn't suffering or in pain, I could let him die naturally at home.
The other me: But do you know for sure he is not suffering or in pain?
Me: No, not for sure.
The other me: Isn't helping him die part of your job as a pet parent?
Me: But I don't want that job.
The other me: You signed on for that job when you adopted him. Just call the vet and let her tell you what she thinks. Then it will be a joint decision.
Me: But if he needs to be put to sleep, I will feel so guilty.
The other me: Guilty about what? That you prevented him from lingering in pain? Man up. At least call the vet and make an appointment.
Me: OK. But I will have to get dressed and leave the house.
The other me: Yes, you will. We all have to do things we don't want to.
Me: OK. I will because I love Pogo.