Two days seems the max for me before the blues drag me down. Let me tell you, the situation wears me out. Then the bad days stack up like a house of cards. Pretty soon a puff of wind sends my emotions flying. I crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and hope I can sleep the day away. Even if I do, I feel no better than I did.
The little voice in my head keeps harping at me: you are ugly, you are no good, no one likes you, you are worthless. Some days I just want to say shut up. You don't think I know this already?
I castigate myself for doing the wrong thing. I castigate myself for doing the right thing but feeling bad about the choice.
I am sorry I cannot help you. I know you suffer more than I. I cannot seem to keep my keel even enough to feel like I would do anyone else any good. If that makes me seem selfish, then I am selfish.
We only get one chance at this life and I am afraid I get the failing grade.
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