Parenting tough

This blog post is written with lots of love for my parents, who made me who I am.

If I were a parent, particularly a single parent or about to become a halftime parent, there are some things I would do my best to make sure happen.

The child or children would get a hug and be told they are loved no matter how rushed I am to get to work. I would never bad mouth the other parent no matter how angry I am with them or how many lies they tell others or the children about me. The situation is hard enough on children and splitting time between houses and parents could easily cause the children to think neither of their parents wants them.

I would make sure the children spend quality time with me when they are with me. Whether it is going to the splash pad, taking a walk in the neighborhood or reading stories out loud.

I would set limits on electronic gadgets and television and explain why I set those limits. I would give each child, say an hour a week to play with the electronics, and another hour a week to watch television. I would keep a chart, and mark off the amount of time each activity is done. After the hour of electronics, the gadget would be locked up for the rest of the week. Same with the tv.

If the children wanted bonus time on the gadgets, they would have to earn it with certain chores equalling 5 minutes, etc. A limit also would be placed on bonus time.

No matter how big a fit they threw, or what a hassle the whole thing would be to me, the children are worth the discipline and limits they would receive.

Children should not be pawns in a game of angry parent, nor should electronics raise the children because it is easier than expending the energy to set limits.

Children always should come first. We brought them into the world and it is our duty to take care of them in every way.

I agree parents need break times from the children, just like the children can use a break from the parent, within limits.

Remember how your parents treated you and take your cues from that. Most parents are able to provide a home full of love and caring. Caring includes setting limits without being mean. If you come from a home that was just the opposite, then you need to make sure your children are not treated the way you were. Material objects will not fill the void of lack of love or personal time spent with them.

Children are a gift. Do not throw away the chance to matter in their lives.