What is sick enough?

Yesterday I had energy. I dusted the living room, swept up the bug bodies by the front door and scooped the litterbox. I also delivered some flour to Connie so she could cook a roast for us. She convinced me to hold off on the dishes or any other chore that breathes down my neck like a giant silent gorilla.

A nurse from the insurance company called me yesterday to ask his usual questions. When I had a coughing fit three times during the interview, he put off the questions and said he would be calling my doc. Not too much later, one of doc's nurses called to ask what was going on. She asked a bazillion questions, told me she would relay the information to doc. Less than an hour later, she called back. Doc wants me on the cancellations list.

He will ask me about the SOB. This SOB differs from pneumonia SOB. This is out of condition SOB. This is moving right along and bam SOB. Some chest pressure. This cough I have does not happen unless I am up moving. No rattle or wheeze when I am sitting. My feet, ankles and lower legs swell. Pogo scratched me, and after the bleeding ceased, the wound seeped fluid for a couple of hours.

Connie fusses at me for disparaging my health. I guess I worry I am not sick enough to bother doc. If I am sick, sure, call him. But am I really sick? Or just kinda sick? Do I imagine I am sick? Will the symptoms go away on their own? Or with time and Tylenol?

Sadness still shadows me. The monster lies under the bed ready to sneak out when I am unaware. If I could call this fellow by name, would he relent? Are others lined up behind him to continue this campaign?

* * *

OK, dude, I can do this.

Later.