What next?

ESPN changes prompt me to ask: what???

I am female. I am all for equal rights. I also will admit I am uncomfortable, nay, I dislike the recent push for more woman on-air personalities at the sports network. I get the impression the government played a role in the changes. Or maybe ESPN wants to lure a new audience, but they best be careful. I also have noticed a push for celebrity.

As much as I love ESPN, it may find itself relegated to the boonies like CNN Headline News. Since it has become HLN (which in itself grates on my nerves since headline is one word), it has lost its teeth. Change for change's sake rarely works.

I want my sports clean and unfoofied. A few shows like "Pardon the Interruption" liven things up. These guys know their stuff. Maybe the women do too, but the dynamic rubs me the wrong way. Too flirty results in unwanted distractions. Cutsie and sports do not make a winning combination.

If you want women, sports and cutsie, why not ESPN foofy? The network offers ESPN in many other shapes and forms.

* * *

My roller coaster ride of a life makes me dizzy sometimes. Depression, to put a name on it, taints an otherwise wonderful existence. Some days I want to lie on the couch, pull the blanket over my head and sleep. I love watching the rain, and we have had our share the past week, but when I am blue, the rain dampens my spirits further.

Then I feel utterly useless to my friends. I want to help them; I want to listen. I simply do not have it in me.

The fixer needs fixing. That was your milieu. I miss your positive, comforting words. Ours was a see-saw relationship. We never hit bottom at the same time. I miss you so much, dude.

* * *

D and I talked on the phone last night. He is one hyper person. Think of the power there. I would like to get to know K as well. One of these days, maybe.

* * *

Since I am on a small rant: why do I waste my time with people who do not have a clue? I am not sure what their game is, but I tire of the effort it takes to keep up. Do I really need someone in my life who purports to want me as a friend but immediately runs to someone else with my confidences?

Do I want someone as a friend who collects people like trading cards? Do I want someone as a friend who loves to talk about their own woes, but never asks about mine? Do I want someone as a friend who cannot make five minutes during a day to say hey?

I think we all know the answer to that. I just need to find my backbone.

* * *

Not long now, dude.

Later.