Saturday, May 2, 2015

More dark clouds

Another day in depression land. I spent most of the day sleeping. I made plans with a friend to go to the store, but when I called her around noon, she had only enough time to make a quick run. So, I said I needed quite a few things, I would go on my own. I spent another hour convincing myself to get dressed and go. The boys ate all their food and turned their noses up at other options, so not going would mean their starvation.

Busy, sometimes angry, people packed the store. I bought everything on my list and then some, avoiding little Indy 500 drivers and their miniature shopping carts.

The gusty winds brought all kinds of crap with them making breathing extra hard as I carried the groceries into the house.

If I liked myself more, maybe the lack of inquiries about where I have been on FB would not hurt so much. One person noticed and sent me a private message. Three others sent PMs when I reached out to them.

Lacking self-esteem, I do not know how to take this lack of concern about me by others. I act as if I am a young teenager. I need help. I need to take the necessary steps to learn to like myself before I die.

No comments:

Post a Comment