Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Alfred E. Newman I am not

Tell a worrier, "Do not worry, it will work out." And despite lying there asking myself, "Does worry on your part get anything done any faster?" I found myself worrying.

So I lie there trying to imagine what I will fix for dinner. I cooked chicken tenders last night (they were not). I had intended to make chicken fettucine alfredo but do I waste the alfredo on not so great chicken? I have some roma tomato alfredo and some marinara sauce. All of that sounds good, but I do not want to make the effort. Not hard at all. The dishes do not appeal.

I find myself wanting to crawl under some covers and hide again. I have several pressing issues I have talked myself out of for days. I got one taken care of today. Now I am trying to get a grant to pay for my co-pays for my three specialty medicines. My co-pay for Tracleer is $2,200. I am not even sure how much for the Tyvaso.

I dreamed about you last night. You comforted.

I cleaned the bathroom, washed the dishes and swept the kitchen. I also changed the bedding. My body wants to quit now; thoughts ping around in my brain.

Later, Dude.

Monday, May 30, 2011

*yawn*

I am sleepy. That is all.

Nite, Dude.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Not a Sunday in the park

Today sluggishness prevails. I have been on and off the couch most of the day. I spent my usual early morning with the door open, but the air was oppressive. The kitties fought on and off. Each finally went his own way after several verbal run-ins that included hisses and a couple of "I mean this, buddy" growls.

The thermometer registers 103 and the winds blow at 32 mph. Not a bit pleasant outdoors.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."  ~Mother Teresa

Barca won the champs league, Dude. David Villa.

Later.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Friday, May 27, 2011

Sugar in the morning, sugar in the evening

The apartment complex where I live -- Nantucket -- has flat roofs. This morning a large bird walks back and forth on the roof across the way. I wonder if he watches for enemies while other birds do what birds do; amorous spring, you know!

I fell ill soon after the noontime repast. Does that not sound Jane Austin-ish? I believe stress caused this episode. I know I will not learn anything about my insurance situation until at least Tuesday. Makes for a yucky weekend, if I allow it to.

I made another pineapple upside-down cake this morning. I added more butter and brown sugar. I also added chopped walnuts. Instead of adding water to the pineapple juice to make 1 1/4 cups, I added orange juice. Yummm! I have enough ingredients to make one more cake before a grocery run.

Time for bed. I managed not to get a nap today.

Later, Dude.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

So, here I am again

OK. I am not for big government; in fact, I am not for BIG anything. If I spend anymore time with my doc's nurse, people willl begin to talk.

We all know Tyvaso ranks as a specialty medicine. No local pharmacy stocks the med. But the government requires proof of all this before it will pay for the med. So you must seek the med from a local pharmacy, be turned down because the pharmacy does not have it, then apply to Medicare Part B. In the meantime, the specialty pharmacy I have gotten Tyvaso from on my old insurance keeps saying they will not let me go without the meds and then I get another call from the same folks saying they are delaying my shipment.

I am fortunate that I am fairly smart. If I were less so, I can only imagine the nightmare. As it is, I worry, though I am fairly certain it will work out.

I made the chocolate cake this morning. Tomorrow another pineapple upside-down cake. This time I am adding walnuts to the brown sugar/butter mix. Then possibly another kind of chocolate cake.

My marigolds cling to life by their roots; they have not clutched their little marigold throats and keeled over. My brown thumb has turned a pale tan. I am thinking roses now. Haha! I should go with the morning glories first and not press my luck.

I tossed a couple of dried bread scraps near the bird spa hoping to lure some hungry fellow who wanted to wash up first. No takers but I did notice more birds hanging out on the fence. I need to get a small amount of bird seed, right Bird Whisperer? I still cannot convince Momo that keeping his mouth shut will lure more birds to Lee's Leisure Lodge.

Hey, Sylvia, what's for dinner?

Later, Dude.

Parlez-vous aubpyblnm?

Ever have one of those days and you do not realize it until the next day?

Me and my procrastinative nature did not research this Medicare thing well enough. Plus I am having trouble getting my Tyvaso approved. Sometimes the government (I just realized most of the time) makes procedures so bureaucratic the above-average person needs help to figure it out. Not only do you have to jump through hoops, you have to try to decipher gobbledygook without a Rosetta Stone.

I realized yesterday I need a Medigap policy. I panicked, what if I am too late? I did some googling and did not have much luck finding what I needed to know. I do know each state has its own rules. Great! Another layer of bureaucracy, she says with dripping sarcasm.

I went to chat for the first time in awhile last night. The core group showed up. I learned that CaringVoices will help. Then I learned this morning I have 120 days to select a Medigap policy. I do want to get one soon though. I would hate to face a hospitalization without one.

Doc's nurse works hard to smooth out the bumps in the road over the Tyvaso. Apparently, the doc has to submit a prescription to a pharmacy, which then denies it. Then someone submits it to Medicare Part B. Anyhow, I need to sit back and let the pros do their job. Unfortunately, I am such a worrier.

I have several marigold buds, so maybe I have not killed the flowers after all. Now I want to find some sort of bench or something to put the marigold pots on so I do not have to bend over. I have lots of trouble breathing when I bend over. I could sit on the ground, but I might not make it back up. The woman next door uses a piano bench that has seen better days.

I made a peach upside-down cake yesterday. Today I think Mississippi Mud Cake again (I have requests for it).

More to come, Dude.

Later.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Connections

Funny how the thought process functions.

I sat in my chair, drinking my coffee and thinking about grief this morning. How totally wiped out I was for a year or more when you died Dude. That led to a comparison of my reactions to your death and my dad's. He died more than 30 years ago.

Then I remembered my first day back at work when my dad died. I was in the wire room pulling tape when one of the reporters came into the wire room and gave me a hug. She asked me how I was doing and told me she would be devastated if her dad had died. I probably had not thought of D in years. What a nice person she is or was.

The lesson in all this? You never know when a small gesture will remain with someone for a long, long time. If you give out of your heart, it will find its way back to you. I am so thankful for unselfish, giving people.

In my attempts at gardening and luring birds to my yard, I find peace. Who knew? Having the bedroom door open in the mornings somehow starts my day off well. Drinking my coffee and watching my boys enthralled by the slightest movement "out there" brings an inner glow.

My thoughts are with J, and A and her mom.

Later, Dude.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Another scrap from the table

I am off to the vampire this morning and maybe Target. Below is another column from June 24, 1998.

Later, Dude.

Fine dining comes to city


Amarillo, until recently, has lacked a restaurant which could be considered a fine dining establishment. Sure, there are the country clubs and the Amarillo Club, but people must belong to the clubs, or know someone who is a member, to eat there. Many Amarillo restaurants serve wonderful food, but none provide gourmet cuisine and all the accompaniments.

Hobby and Linda Kuehnast hope to fill that void with the opening of Occasions Elegant Dining.

The couple have transformed the former home of Cajun Magic on Paramount Boulevard into a peaceful, formal setting for six-course meals. The restaurant contains several cozy rooms providing private areas to enjoy conversation as well as food and wine. The various nooks will seat from two to six people - the restaurant will seat about 40 people at a time, Hobby said.

Each table is set with linen tablecloths, fine china and crystal. Candlelight and piano music help set the mood.

Hobby brings more than 30 years of food and beverage experience to his new restaurant and longtime dream. He was co-manager of the Crosstimbers Restaurant. He also has worked for Glazer Wholesale Drug Co. Inc., which distributes wine and liquor among other items, and most recently Abuelo's.

The couple checked out many fine restaurants, including The Mansion on Turtle Creek, before deciding on the format for the new eatery. Hobby said they got many wonderful ideas from a bed and breakfast owner in Ruidoso, N.M.

Michael Noblitt, who has training in French cuisine, serves as chef for Occasions Elegant Dining. He cut his teeth in the restaurant business at Hans Mueller Deli and Restaurant and Pepi's Deli, both in Dallas.

Creating a menu from the ground up is a task that any chef would love, Noblitt said. He lauded efforts by officials at Affiliated Foods and Ben E. Keith Food for making sure he has the right cuts of veal, etc. that he needs.

Adding a Southwestern touch to many of the dishes is Rudy Moreno.

The menu features some dishes that will remain on the menu permanently and some dishes that will vary with the seasons.

Appetizer choices include Artichoke Fritters with Avgolemono Sauce (a citrusy, tart flavor), La Tapa de Camerones (shrimp) and Caviar Potatoes.

The soup course contains the signature dish for the restaurant - Occasions de French Onion, a creation of Hobby's. Cream of Green Chiles with Haberno Cheese showcases Moreno's touch. The seasonal special when I dined at the restaurant was Creamy Fresh Asparagus.

Spring Mesclun with Roasted Pine Nuts; Caesar Salad for two, prepared tableside; and a seasonal special make up the salad course. The salad with pine nuts blends a combination of sweet and bitter tasting lettuce and a tartish dressing. The seasonal special features fresh fruits on a bed of lettuce with a citrus dressing. Mini dill rolls, baked in house, accompanied the salads.

Diners may choose between lemon or raspberry sorbet for the intermezzo course. The sorbet is commercially prepared, but good.

Choosing entrees proved to be the most difficult decision of the evening. Noblitt and Moreno prepare Roast Prime Rib Jus-lie and Horseradish Sauce (available on Friday and Saturday only); Omaha Filet with Rodolfo Sauce and Black Russian Potatoes; Chef's Southwestern Especial; Pecan Crusted Chicken with Mandarin Chutney; Veal Medallions with Rosemary Sauce; Stuffed Pork Tenderloin with Maple Pecan Glaze; Grilled Salmon with Tarragon-Lime Butter; and Shrimp Occasion with Grilled Vegetable Medley.

My dinner companion chose the filet, which was so tender a knife almost was unnecessary. I decided on the salmon, which was just right.

It's no secret that the dessert course ranks at the top of my list. If a restaurant does poorly on what I consider the piece de resistance, I almost consider the dining experience a failure.

Not to worry, this occasion lived up to expectations. Chocolate Fruit Fondue for Two was just the right topper for the meal - long on chocolate and adequate amounts of fruit. My cohort decided to try the Cheesecake de Occasion. The bite of the cheesecake I took (yes, I shared my chocolate, too) was not too sweet and not too bland.

The service was prompt and discreet for the two-hour meal.

Occasions Elegant Dining opens at 5 p.m. Monday through Saturday with the last seating at 8:30 p.m. Cost is $40 a person, which includes tax and gratuity. Wine and beer selections are priced separately. With seating limited, reservations are advised. Call 353-6345.

Linda said the restaurant will serve the basic menu for lunch for $15. Reservations are required for lunch. The couple hope to draw businessmen or businesswomen who need a quiet place to finalize a deal or just discuss business that requires discretion.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Table Scraps circa 1997

A couple of you asked about my food column. Below is one. I may or may not do others.

TABLE SCRAPS

Published Dec. 24, 1997

Christmas Day for 'pokes in '97

The wind, no doubt, whipped through the Panhandle area on Dec. 24, 1897. The temperature that day reached a balmy 50 degrees, and the low that night dropped to 24.

Christmas Day probably dawned with calm winds, though the gusts almost certainly picked up during the day since the thermometer logged a high of 46 degrees.

No snow in recent days made it easier for the cowboys on the JA Ranch to quickly make their rounds and then prepare for a much-needed diversion - a trip to the Matador Ranch for a Christmas party and dance.

The JA, begun by Charles Goodnight and English partner John Adair in late October 1876, was the first ranch in the Panhandle. By 1886, the gentlemen divided the property, with Goodnight making his headquarters near what is now Goodnight in Armstrong County.

Incidentally, historians credit Goodnight with inventing the chuck wagon.

The Matador Land and Cattle Co. incorporated in 1879 and was sold to stockholders from Dundee, Scotland. Its holdings extended from northeast of Lubbock to almost the tip of Oklahoma. The northern division of the company, called Alamocitas, had headquarters in Channing.

Mrs. Henry Campbell, wife of the Matador's owner, found life in the Panhandle lonely. Not many women chose to live in an area where the nearest neighbor might be as far away as 80 miles. So she began having a Christmas party and dance in 1882. She would invite cowboys and settlers from the area to come to the Matador Ranch.

Feasting was a big part of the festivities.

The Matador cooks prepared wild turkeys and wild hogs or antelope and antelope stew, according to Lisa Lambert of the Panhandle-Plains Historical Museum.

Sometimes venison steak graced the tables. Side dishes included cornbread dressing and wild rice. Cowboys could choose apple pie or corn pudding for their sweet tooth and the children could munch on popcorn balls.

In later years, Christmas dinner at the JA Ranch featured roast beef, antelope, cakes, pies and other delicacies of the day, Lambert said.

Dancing played a major role in the fun, though the few women probably were exhausted before the night was over.

Today's cowhands probably are married, and they and their families live on the ranch. While one woman might cook a couple of meals a day for the hands while they are working, in the evening the cowboys will return to their homes.

In 1897, the cook had no grocery store to run to at the last minute in case she forgot the flour. Planning for at least a month was a necessity.

Today's cook can hop in the car and be at the local supermarket in a matter of minutes - probably even on Christmas Day.

When your family sits down to Christmas dinner, remember the hearty souls who first came to the area and be thankful you do not have to ride horseback or in a wagon for 80 miles to enjoy company.

Another ranch food tale

Mitch Bell was just a youngster when he first went to the JA Ranch in February of 1884. When he was 91 years old in 1949, he talked to Herbert and Carolyn Timmons of the Globe-News about life on the JA. The trio talked over a table while eating at a Clarendon cafe. What follows is part of that interview.

" 'They have good food here. I like their custard pie - better than beans any day. Hot rolls and butter beats sourdough all to pieces, too. Anything tasted good then when we were working out of doors, but lots of times the bread was hard and dry.'

"Mitch Bell chuckled. 'Beans are lots better than black-eyed peas, though. Once, after I had been on the JA for several years, they got hold of some dry black-eyed peas; sent a big sack of them out to our chuck wagon. We managed to empty the first sack; plenty of fussing, though. But here came another big sack of dry peas. That was too much for any bunch of cowboys. You know that, you can sure pour lots of dry peas down a prairie dog hole.

" 'All would have been well, but it rained that night. The dry peas swelled and swelled and swelled. They popped up out of the prairie dog hole, even pushed up the ground. Of course John Mann, the ranch boss, chose that day to show up.'

" 'Mitch Bell finished the story. 'Got scared John Mann was going to make us scoop those peas from the ground and eat them, prairie dog smell and all. John Mann was a fine fellow, though, and just. We got along fine, and no more black-eyed peas in our camp, not ever.' "

Questions or suggestions?
If you have a tip, suggestion or comment, write: Table Scraps, c/o Amarillo Globe-News, P.O. Box 2091, Amarillo, Texas 79166-0001, or call 345-3321, between 7 a.m. and 3 p.m. Out of town readers can call 800-692-4052.

Melody messages

Someone 500 years in the future will learn more about our age than previous eras. Unless the world devolves and does not have the brain power to unlock the technology, or the internet and related technology becomes so outdated no one has the equipment to unlock the door to cyberworld. Some 1,500 years after the Egyptian dynasties, we know little about the common man but learn more each time archeologists find new artifacts. Perhaps history will repeat itself and someone in the future will read these words and learn about the world of 2011.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQB2-Kmiic

Synchronized birdwatching: Ears up, ready, and turn heads to the left.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeRa3RtBiIU

A corningware pie pan makes a great birdbath. Thanks, K! Now if only the birds find it so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMCsc4Iqvqc

Peace thrives in an orderly environment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqOU2ox_tk8

Pogo wanders away to find a secure nap nook. Momo continues to stand sentinal, reporting each sighting, his paw touching the screendoor as if discerning the vibrations of wings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bng3agUOYiI&feature=related

Workers view corporate America much like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bng3agUOYiI&feature=related

Enjoy. Miss you, Dude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJbPKDmxkC4

Later.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

So much for Sunday

Today I am a mean, not so lean cleaning machine. A couple more chores and I will be a clean, not so lean couch potato.

I checked my marigolds first thing. Yep, they all live, going into Day 2 even. K's blog convinced me I need a birdbath of some sort to add to the entertainment. I am thinking garbage can lid. Something small and easy to change the water. Flying disc?

I still miss you, Dude.

Later.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Marigolds and munchies

Remember rotary egg beaters? I wish I had one during this cooking spate. They are fun to play with, too.

As soon as the sun started its morning routine, I headed to Wallyworld. I hoped to avoid the wind. Course if you go at that time, you have one door to enter, the one nearest the food. I wanted some bedding plants. The garden center lies at the other end of the supercenter. Let's say I got some exercise.

After eyeing all the plants, I chose some reddish brown marigolds with yellow highlights. Now we shall see if I can transform my brown thumb to green. I am going all out and picked up a packet of morning glory seeds too. The woman next door had some beautiful morning glories last year, and since they grew halfway across my yard before the end of summer, I certainly enjoyed them. Now the transplanted marigolds sit in cute little ceramic pots in the sunshine on the patio.

The boys were curious as I transplanted the flowers, but did not try to eat them or dig in the dirt. I did the repotting in the house so I could sit in a chair and not bend over.

I took a small respite in my chair and watched Momo chatter at the birds. I wonder if he tells the birds to "Beware, Momo patrols the scene." Or perhaps he tells them "Hello, fine morning," though I somehow doubt that. Anytime now Momo could transmit information to Pogo, who sleeps near my chair. A certain tone or series of utterances from Momo draws a sleeping Pogo in a flash. I wonder about the topic of conversation.

I worry about my friend Sylvia. Docs had to put her on heart-lung machine while they try to figure out why the new lungs are not working right. Could be infection, rejection or pneumonia. That information appeared on FB on the 19th. Nothing since.

I hold A. in my heart and thoughts.

EPL wraps up this weekend. I will miss it.

Later, Dude.


Friday, May 20, 2011

To nap or not to nap, that is the question

For the third day running, I found clothes in my backyard. I put them in a plastic grocery bag and threw the bag onto the upstairs balcony. Apparently the kid who lives up there has yet to figure out that when the wind blows, the clothes blow off the rail. The future leaders of tomorrow?

The boys run around this morning like overstimulated children at Chuck E Cheese, even down to the screaming. I would go back to bed but I am afraid of what I might find when I wake up.

I have two eggs. I am thinking chocolate chip cookies, or I could go take a nap.

Tune in tomorrow to see which I chose. *Appropriate soap opera music* And thus ends another exciting blog post (or as exciting as a PHer's life can be).

Later, as I say, Dude.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Potpourri

The plan yesterday was for me and Connie, along with one grandson, to go to the dollar store. Well, that plan fell through after Connie forgot something at home. While we were there, her husband decided to go along. The grandson got obstinate and papaw did not help with his solution. One of those days when nothing works out. Those few hours wore me out as if I had shopped at a two or three grocery stores, the pet store and the dollar store.

Two things: Yahoo mail sucks and so does Internet Explorer 9. So there!!
I made a Mississippi Mud Cake and a tortellini dish today. I promptly gave the cake to Connie and her crowd and tried to do the same with the tortellini They were wonderful. In fact so wonderful as to be dangerous. She took the cake and I am faced with a pretty good amount of yummy pasta with marinara.


I put some dried-out bread on the patio hoping to lure a few birds. I waited all day, but finally a few minutes ago, one young sparrow hopped around sampling the offering. Momo usually chatters at the birds, but this bird was so close I think Momo was speechless. Oh, he was excited. He quivered from whiskers to tail. The door was closed and the shades drawn except for one blade that was stuck in the window runner. The small opening was enough for Momo to imagine the fearless black hunter stalking game. I love watching cats when they zone in, or for that matter, zone out. Sweetness oozes out of the most feisty cat when he sleeps.


I spend alot of time seeking validation. I go right along and then from left field comes insecurity, unworthiness. I do not like myself more than usual then. I have good qualities, so why do the negatives gain such control? I see being a ring in the tree much differently than you did. Or maybe not.


Later, Dude.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Lev-off

Changing o2 companies ended up being a pain. After the respiratory crew passed me around and promised to call right back, and "we are unusually busy for a Tuesday," I discovered I needed this, that and the other to get what I need. This involved a couple of calls to Doc.

So sometime this week I will get a new home concentrator and even more exciting, a Respironics EverGo portable concentrator. No more bottles, no more waiting for deliveries. Freedom. 

I got calls about the prescriptions I had ordered telling me when they would be shipped. At least that went smoothly -- so far.

This tune looped through my mind for days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fgix5HXFTQ

I got up with all kinds of energy but feeling wonky because I missed the night meds again. I have got to quit thinking, "I will lie here for just a few minutes." Awakening at 2 a.m. pretty much blows the day. Now I am ready to go back to bed.

The boys' age difference reared its ugly head this week. Momo feels his oats and Pogo wants to lie about and catch some aromas. I find myself telling Momo to back off and behave himself.

Till next time, Dude.

Later.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Easy to be hard

No one has heard anything about Sylvia since her husband posted she was mouthing words. I suppose her husband and son are typical men who do not think it important to post information.

Today I will take care of the DME/o2 issue. I also plan to call the specialty pharmacy to update information. If all this happens early enough, I might go to the vampire and update with all my docs.

My desire to bake grows hotter. *groan* I need a surge protector.

Spent part of my energy this morning cleaning the bathroom. I washed the few dishes I had. This dishwashing could be habit forming.

Sometimes I want to tell the telemarketer that I am an old lady and have nothing better to do than document calls after I tell them not to call again. I am so bored, in fact, that I will tell them I will sue them if they call again. Or I could talk about any and everything but what they are trying to sell. I bet they would hang up on me.

Well Sam finally posted and Sylvia may have the vent removed soon. Yay!!

Later, Dude.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Naps: they do a body good

Patience never has been one of my attributes.

Once I make up my mind about something, I want action, even though action sometimes has a timetable of its own. Why is patience a virtue?

The latest want involves a rake and the yard. Dry weeds intermingle with green that appears to be grass. When the wind blows, which seems to be all the time, it funnels the dry weeds to a corner on my patio. I offered to pay my youngest godson to rake, but he has a timetable of his own. So now I think I may buy a rake and give it a go myself. Not a smart move on my part.

Sometimes I forget I have PH until I overdo. Overdo wipes me out. Like sleeping 12 hours two days this past week.

Mississippi Mud Cake calls my name. I have most of the ingredients but need marshmallow cream and canned chocolate frosting. Trip to the store or no? How much do I really want the cake?

My PH body has other ideas. Instead of zipping through the chores, I went back to bed. I pushed too hard and now the body takes its turn. I did start the process to change o2 companies, and finished the online mail order drug application.

I think I need another nap.

Later, Dude.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Memory lane

When I was a youngster my daddy would whistle a simple sound and the mockingbirds would answer.

I remember summer nights at the Amarillo Gold Sox games and the gas flame outside the stadium.

I remember a trip to the mountains and ice cold water in the sizzling summer heat.

I remember daddy dug up the whole front yard with a garden fork one summer because bermuda grass made mother miserable.

I remember trying to dig to China with a spoon.

I remember horny toads like miniature dinosaurs sitting in ant beds.

I remember my cat Tippy's mission was to see how many times a day he could go in and out of the house. When he came in, he thought he had to eat. We spoiled Tippy.

I remember lying on my back on a quilt and watching dozens of falling stars and listening to the wind in the phone lines.

I remember my great-grandmother's outhouse. Wasps chose to set up house there.

I remember swimming with my cousins in the pool at Cisco. At the time it was the largest concrete pool in the world. You could see tadpoles swimming about.

I remember attending football games and plays at the local college.

I remember talking to you. Later, Dude.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Stress is a killer

I want to crawl into a hole. I am tired. I am confused. I am all wise and so stupid. I am anxious. I hurt inside and out.

Later, Dude.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Hey Babar

The PH pachyderm paid a visit yesterday.

The day started with a cooking orgy. I made a meatloaf, mac & cheese and a pineapple upside-down cake. I took them to Connie and was back home before 10:30. I washed the dishes.

About 4, I realized I hurt. I had a heavy chest all day but I attributed the feeling to the early morning storm with the wind and a sprinkle or two. The weather has been so dry, maybe the clouds could not give up their moisture.

I took some Tylenol and thought I would lie on the couch until I felt better. I woke up at 2 a.m. I missed my evening meds and the last Tyvaso treatment. Oops. I am now waiting to take morning meds until the normal time. In the meantime, I have pachy sitting on my chest.

The past few days I have spent my thinking time with you.

May has many anniversaries for me. My dad died just before Mother's Day in 1981. I miss him. He gave me love for baseball. He passed along a sense for detail and organization.

I find so much of what you projected conflicts with what I am seeing now. Were you so blind you could not see how much love and caring you were offered by many? Did you feel inferior or superior? Sometimes I get the sense that people are hiding something about you. Maybe because I know so little firsthand. Part of the reason for that was your doing. Such compartmentalization.

I miss you, Dude. It that possible?

Later.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Peaceful easy feelin'

I ran into an old buddy this morning. I had not seen this pal for so long I almost did not recognize him. I feel as if I have known this pal forever. F drifts in and out of my life; and out of sight, out of mind. F? No, I do not believe I know F.

F crept upon me this morning while I sat in my easy chair in the bedroom and drank my first cup of coffee. The boys lay at the foot of the open door taking in the scents and sensations of the early morning breeze. Before I knew it, F entered the room and snuggled next to me in the chair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqOU2ox_tk8

F goes by many names yet answers to none. Like a finicky cat, F will not come when called, but will join you when you have all but given up.

Nice one, F!!

Later, Dude.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Best laid plans

My domestic side will not let me rest. I will head for Walmart in a bit to buy seeds, potting soil and a couple of pots. I think I want to grow some catnip for the boys, too. I need some regular dirt and some sand. Not sure where I will get those.

I also want to cook or bake. I am thinking pineapple upside-down cake. That would be pretty darn easy and oh so yummy.

Apparently the BIG PLANS fell through. I have not done a blasted thing. Maybe tomorrow.

P.S. I made the couple of blocks trip to Dollar General and bought two pots, potting soil, and flower seeds. Now we shall see if I can indeed grow something.

Later, Dude.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Cobwebs

Do you ever get the I-worked-hard-so-I-do-not-want-to-mess-up-anything-blues? I do not want to put trash in the trashcan. Eat? No, messes up dishes. A clean apartment lasts for an afternoon, if I am lucky. Pick up as you go? That works sometimes. Sometimes moving from the couch to the chair takes great effort. Fortunately for me, those days do not visit much when I am well.

I devoted a whole week to bronchitis. Then a whole day to cleaning. Today I would like to sweep the tiny patio and run a broom over the outside of the sliding glass doors. The man's weedeater was a butcher. It left plant viscus everywhere. The cobwebs cover the overhang like doilies on a sofa. A wasp family built a condo on the ceiling. A few aluminium cans blew in last week.

 I suddenly realized I am going all Mother Earth on myself. Spring will do that to you. I was imaging a couple of pots of marigolds sitting on my patio. Easy enough. Color and life for a minimum of effort. 

The eating jag resulted in 5 extra pounds. I cannot seem to quit once I get started. I keep craving pizza. If I give in, will the jag finally be over?

If the sun does not come up soon, I may chuck the patio sweep in favor of the couch.

Later, Dude.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

What I did on my Saturday morning by Susie homemaker

The urge to clean plagues me like an itch you cannot reach. One task at a time. Today I will start with the living room windows. Done. Inside and out.

Used wet rag on couch to pick up kitty hair. Did dishes, too. The great debate rages. Dust first or vacuum first. Google offered no definitive answer. Me thinks dust first, then vacuum. Dusting done; well, almost.

When you have the energy, you hate to stop. One little chore leads to another and another. Tomorrow I may be laid out, but today I am on fire.

So vacuuming done. Medicine cabinet cleaned out and rearranged. Kitchen and bathroom swept (I hate kitty litter).

I need to think about eating, but I also want to straighten the pantry, which got out of hand before I realized.

Another one bites the dust. And another one and another one.

Later, Dude.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Double play

A winning combination: dark chocolate and sea salt.

Several defections from the Derby field. Defections must be horsie language for withdrawals. Defection to me evokes Cuban baseball players and Russian ballet stars. Or maybe North Korean pilots.

That is all, Dude.

Later.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Shhhhhhhhhh

I will be glad when I no longer have this empty-headed feeling. Like a pouty little girl throwing a tantrum, I am not sure why. Maybe raging against any and everything serves as a release much like the regulator on top of a pressure cooker.

Perhaps I have overreleased and now have nothing.

Later, Dude.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Picture this

I told myself last night I would get up today and get some work done.

The spring wind and Mother Nature conspire to keep me occupied indoors. No excuses. No point in dusting today. I did manage to get lots done without tiring myself out. Tomorrow will tell the tale.

I did something I had not done since 1999. I hung pictures. Immediately the clutterbug started crawling through my mind. After a small verbal fight, the bug decided to catch a nap. The battle is far from over, but right now I have pictures on the walls.

I am naturally cynical. I usually question everything. Nothing is free. The posts from folks on FB indicate to me how lemming like the masses are and that scares the poo out of me. People seem to have forgotten how to think. Or maybe they never learned. FB compares in some ways to a giant game of gossip. The interconnectedness of people serves as a catalyst for scams by every imaginable con.

If folks are misled that easily, then think about swaying the masses, what that could lead to.

Nap time.

Later, Dude.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Who cares?

I do not know what to say. The words seem blocked off by a wall with no cracks.

I still am not totally well. The cough and SOB continue. I really hate to do another round of abx. I am so pilled out.

I am considering a hiatus from FB. I have close to 500 friends and interact with a handful. I need to get a life. I am too tired to mount the battle right now, though.

Later, Dude.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Air it out

Certain sounds evoke memories.

A small airplane flying overhead takes me to our house on Third Avenue. The sun shines, the sky blue with cottonball clouds. I lie in the shade, the ground soft and cool. I pull blades of grass and munch on the ends. Like an overgrown fly lazily drifting about, I hear the engine of a small plane.

Overnight I became the mean, soon not to be lean eating machine. I cannot seem to get enough.

I am pretty worthless right now, too.

Later, Dude.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Lure of the couch

Pogo curls up on my lap as I type, a welcome furry blanket. The skies are December skies, the temperature hovers near 40. Two days ago, the air conditioner ran as the mercury hit 90.

The neglect of daily chores punishes my conscience; my body refuses to cooperate. With PH or any chronic disease, you never really know what kind of day you face. You hope for an energy day, you might have a molasses down a glass day.

If I do nothing else today, I need to make a meatloaf or the meat will spoil. My intentions and my reality often are at odds. The couch rests adjacent to the TV and calls like a best friend, "Come on, you know you want me. I will envelope you in a warm, comfortable embrace."

Good news, the meatloaf cooks in the oven, the squash and carrots are on their way. I plan to eat myself into a coma and then go see my friend couch.

I love special days on Google. Today celebrates the World's Fair.

Later, Dude.