One of my acquaintances has gone missing. I have looked and looked for her for years. She plays a major role in my life, yet she hardly shows her face in a positive manner.
Her frailty causes her to crumble at the slightest provocation. She seldom appears when I need her most, in fact she hides so well she might as well be nonexistent.
I spend early mornings meditating in my chair; a cup of coffee warms my hands. I ruminate about how events unfolded and spend time what-iffing. I craft scenes in my mind of meetings that probably will never happen.
One of my constant companions will not loosen her grip on me. She can freeze me in my steps with a sideways glance. She nags and inserts her opinion on any issue at any time. I have tried many ways to lessen her influence. Each of her small victories extracts an immeasurable part of me until I begin to wonder where I went. Will I eventually be gone altogether?
Another friend hangs around much too often and refuses to leave. Like a gray, cold, gloomy mass suffocating me; always there, always threatening.
The view from the other side of a mirror differs.
Later, Dude.
No comments:
Post a Comment