Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Blinded by the light

The feeling unsettles me. I cannot put my finger on what nags at me. I sit on the edge of sadness and do not know why. The unease rests just out of my sight but I feel its presence and know it could show itself anytime. The threat makes me want to curl up in a ball under a blanket. Sleep, however brief, substitutes for reality. Awareness takes a nap, too.

I feel somehow a loss of control. Maybe control always has been an illusion. We pretend to make decisions. We throw on our fantasy cloaks and proceed to act out our lives. My world and your world resemble each other. What about people we never meet? Do these lives somehow affect us and we never gain awareness? Is not meeting someone as important as meeting someone?

You (this is a general you, not a specific you) fail to give me your undivided attention. You are not a juggler but you think you are. Your mouth tells me one thing and your actions another. Which to believe? Is it time to cut off the offender?

My shell turns against me. Like sirens of the night, aches and pains murmur even when I sleep.

All in good time, I suppose. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odj2kNn3_v0&feature=related

Missing you, Dude.

Later.

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