The life of a shut-in leeched your soul as your body slowly surrendered. Before, you had made your own rules as you lived each moment with gusto. The isolation of your new reality helped build a prison that further dissipated your essence.
The intricacies of the human mind that kept you curious and enthused about life carried over to your new world. You trusted those you met in cyberspace as you would those you had physical contact with before your exile. Your instincts and past experiences may have pointed to caution, but you bared your heart and basic goodness for anyone who seemed willing to help you free yourself. You were Don Quixote looking for his Dulcinea.
Then you took a major hit. Death threats and angry emails haunted your days and nights. You were branded a heretic, all because of the very nature that makes you you and draws people in. Life was not good but you found the strength or determination to keep going.
That attack on your soul left you vulnerable.
I believe your final disappointment came because you were certain others held the same high standards as you. You castigated yourself because of another's faults, I know that. You took their burdens and failures and made them your own. So you did not see they were as much at fault as you -- maybe more so.
When the relationship hit epic fail, it removed a key piece in your foundation. This left the structure so fragile it crumbled in on itself. No amount of encouragement or love could keep you fighting any longer. You had used up your last reserves. Your body started its free fall.
I think I would have liked you at any point in your life, but I am thankful to have known you when I did. I love you, dude. You will always be the best.
Sunday the mailman does nothing.
Later.
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