CRS

I have a rare disease: pulmonary hypertension. I also seem to have a little problem with memory. We in PHA chat always joke that CRS (can't remember shit) comes right along with SOB (shortness of breath).

I read a couple of articles recently which seems to back this up.

Great. Here I am at that time of life when we cannot remember where we put our car keys, which day we went to the store, and people's names. Now I learn I am blessed with a double shot of memory eradicator. Has my mind suddenly become too full and now must rid itself of memories to add more? Too bad we cannot purchase a flash drive for our memories, catalogued and readily available when we say, "I know her....."

And another thing. I once could handle three conversations about three topics at once. Now I attempt it and do not remember much of any of it. I love my online friends. Talking to them fills my day. I have exchanged phone calls with some of them. Connecting a voice with a name fascinates me.

Spending an hour talking to three people at once wears me out, though. I really do want to hear about your day or your latest health problem. The more we share, the more we learn. I care about my friends.

The reluctance to say no contributes to my anxiety. I fear hurting someone's feelings. I have a hard time with balance between me and thee.

Some people I want to talk to more than others. But in my Fairness to Friends Manifesto, Section B, paragraph 10, line 22, I proclaim each friend deserves respect. I try to accommodate everyone. But dear friends, if I fail to remember the conversation we had on Friday, please be kind to an old CRS brain. I thank you.

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A couple of guys I talked to yesterday made me smile. I learn more each time we talk. I hope the learning continues.

Heard from a friend for the first time in awhile. Glad I had done nothing wrong.

Some things we do whether others like it or not.

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You made beautiful music. You made beautiful stories. You made beautiful life.

Later.