Friday, September 3, 2010

All alone in the moonlight

I cannot remember the exact date my world shifted. I just remember scenes from that day.

My friend from Plano came up and I agreed to go eat with him, his partner, Connie and Danny. You had died not many days before.

I was in a fog at lunch. Everyone there knew I had checked out. After lunch that seemed to go on forever, I hugged the guys and asked to go home.

When I got home, the dam broke. Waves and waves without end. The grief drowned me. Only I found myself facing the tsunami over and over, like that awful movie. Late that night, I finally called Connie and begged her to come over. She came without hesitation. She knew. I rended my being. I was no longer me.

Writing this brings tears anew. The new month serves as a harbinger of fall. Though fall is one of nature's most beautiful seasons, winter's harshness threatens. You surrendered to winter. Now I have yet another reason to hate winter.

I have been sad for months and the darkness of winter days only will bring more pain.

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