Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Hollow men

I feel hollow. Or maybe no longer there. Life goes on around me. I answer questions and talk, but somehow I am not there either. I am just going through the motions.

I am full of questions about you. Some things I may never know. I wonder if I handled the situation in Pitt appropriately. Makes no difference really. I did not have the advantage of experience. I did not have the advantage of knowing anyone who had experience. I handled the crisis the best way I could from more than 1,000 miles away. I tried and that counts when the counting is done.

I would love to have a conversation with the one you were closest to. Maybe the questions never will have answers or maybe I do not want to know them. Maybe if I got answers I would regret I had asked.

I do know that your memory, although there, fades with time. I fear the loss.

Later.

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