Friday, October 1, 2010

Guilty as charged

I have always wanted to be perfect.

I wanted to be a perfect daughter. I wanted perfect grades so I would measure up to what I thought was expected of me.

I wanted to be a perfect friend. In my mind, I always fell short. I was never pretty enough, clever enough, talented enough to fit in anywhere.

I wanted to be a perfect wife and mother only I never loved myself enough to realize that dream. I was never good enough for any man, at least in my mind.

I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to be a hero. I wanted what you said you wanted. I wanted the outcome to be perfect.

Now I want to be a perfect patient. I want to be the easiest, bestest.

I want to talk to you.

Later.

2 comments:

  1. Ahhh. Perfectionism. The cause of so much misery. I'm with ya, Cindy.

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  2. I hear you...Perfectionism has been a constant companion in my life too. I am pushing it away..I have to, because I can't keep up that level anymore. I understand. (((hugs))) dear Cindy.

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